Adam Smith and Karl Marx on the 2008 Economy

Hello. My name is Adam. No, not that Adam... Adam Smith, the influential economist best known for my book, The Wealth of Nations, published in 1776, considered by many to be the foundation of modern capitalism. In it, I explained how rational self-interest in a free-market economy leads to economic well-being for all. I was born in Scotland in 1723, and just read on the Internet (yes, we have access up there) that I 'died' in 1790. I lived a pleasant life. Never married. Coincidence?

I'm here today, channelled (against my will, I'll have you know) through this annoying blogger (to what a pitiful level the English language has sunk... 'blogger'?), known rather boastfully as 'the thinker' (my belief is that he left a leading 's' off his moniker), to analyze the current financial maladies you bloody colonists are having.

Let me examine today the state of your automotive industry, which employs, either directly or indirectly in support or supply functions, approximately 10% of your work force. For many years it was a profitable sector, for both its managers and workers. Although it would have been even more profitable, had all the employees been compensated on an individual basis - judged on their personal productivity, instead of salaries and raises determined primarily by what job title a person was in. That applied mainly to the production workers. But I am similarly dismayed that managers, and especially those in the upper executive ranks, manipulated their compensation through whom they knew on the board of directors, and how many times they purposely lost to them on the golf course. As a Scotsman, that venue for perverting my theory of "rational self-interest" is particularly vexing.

Many in your news industry bemoan the staggering losses of market share and profits that the North Central American Colonial (I cannot bring myself to utter 'United States of America" or that even cruder and less descriptive word 'American' - as if there are no other countries in North, Central, and South America deserving of inclusion in that title!... but I digress) automotive industry has been absorbing lately. Haven't they read my philosophy that any successful business enterprise must, at the very least, produce something others value?

Lowering my standards to use your local vernacular, the Asian automakers are eating your lunch! So I object, most vociferously, to your government even thinking about a loan to your GM, Chrysler, and Ford. Those companies should redirect their efforts and retool their plants in order to make something of value that people will buy. If they cannot accomplish this basic tenet of business, then let those enterprises fail. It might help if successful automotive companies are examined, and emulated. Efficiencies can also be gleaned from those who know the work the best - the people who are doing it. Seems simple, but it's often overlooked. Ask your employees periodically for ideas on streamlining operations and cutting corners. You may discard ten bad suggestions before finding one good one. But that is definitely a profitable ratio.

I see that my time is just about up, and some unkempt (both physically and intellectually) vagabond is next to be brought forth through the narrow confines of this blogger's alleged mind. Bear this in mind... this 'Karl' person claims to be the voice of the poor, exploited, downtrodden working class. But if you see a picture of him, it is obvious that he never missed a meal in his life. Take that, Karl the Commie!

Good-bye, and good luck.


Hello. My name is Karl Marx, and my economic ideas have fomented revolutions. I was born in Prussia in 1818. But first, I need to air a grievance. A complete overhaul of this 'channeling' business is past due. The stories I could tell about the sad and angry faces on the wealthy, lazy, lay abouts calling for some member of a slapstick comedy family who shares my surname, and finding me in their midst instead, would turn your stomach! Note to self: contact Frederick and Vladimir when I get back. Then you people will see one heck of a union organizing drive. New members must have gone through this channelling humiliation at least twice in order to join. I'll even steal the word "Bitter" from this... well, whatever this is, and use it in the new union's title: Bitter Union of Re-channelled Persons. Our slogan: B.U.R.P. - It'll Make You Feel Better.

Now, I see that a certain evil capitalist named Adam Smith (I'll bet his middle initial is S. Get it? He's a real A.S.S.) has analyzed (with the emphasis on 'anal') America's automotive industry. The astute observer will note that I used 'America' here because I know it's one of Smith's pet peeves. His rude and crude comment about my weight showed his lack of understanding and compassion (typical for those of his ilk). You see, I have a metabolic problem... But that's not important here. Sit down, fellow members of the international working class, and I will raise your (class) consciousness even further, using the automotive industry, and its current travails, as an example.

The economic ups and downs of all facets of the economy, and especially the automotive sector, are due almost exclusively to the fact that there is no long term planning under capitalism. Your auto company executives are not rewarded for any results beyond the current fiscal quarter. Stock prices plunge at the very hint of underperforming Wall Street projections. Therefore, efforts are confined exclusively to meeting those expectations. If there is a likelihood of failure to make the requisite profit margins, then immediate short term steps must be taken, regardless of the long term effects on the company, its employees, or the industry as a whole. And what is the most expensive cog in the company's corporate wheel? Workers. So first, managers issue speed up orders on the production lines, even though the additional units are not yet needed. Why? In order to stockpile cars and parts, in preparation for the layoffs necessary to keep profits in line with projections. The effects on the workers? Who cares? This is unrestrained capitalism.

Even labor unions these days cannot adequately protect their members during times of extreme economic crisis in your economy. Most have become as stilted and bureaucratic as both the corporate fat cats in their corner offices, and the governmental henchmen who fleece the paychecks of the working men and women they are charged with representing.

The solution? Ownership transfer of the major means of production to proletariat owned and run councils. It applies even more in 2008 than during the rise of the Industrial Age circa 1848. This would stabilize production for both short and long term projected needs and use, and eliminate immediate, destabilizing profiteering. Would bureaucrats take over such a system? Not to worry! My philosophy should actually endear me to your 'smaller government' Republican Party. I believe in the eventual withering away of the government. Once a just, balanced, global society has been attained, the need for government oversight will cease. Hasta la vista, politicians.

Will you look at the time? This damned blogger boss made me miss my lunch break. I'm putting in for time-and-a-half AND talking to my union steward! Don't mourn my departure... workers of the world unite!

Good-bye, and good luck.





Next Friday: Subject undetermined at this time.